escapethelight

When he was sixteen he had his heartbroken at theater camp.  He allowed himself to open up to another person, another boy.  They would sneak out into the woods after rehearsing for their final production of The Phanthom of the Opera.  His name was Will, and JD had never experienced those feelings before.  Their sides brushed together as they sat side-by-side on the large boulder hidden behind a few trees deep in the forest.  Will would sing to him--JD didn’t ever mind they were the songs he needed to practice anyway. Touch me, trust me.  And JD would.  Their lips would meet in timid kisses and only when the sun began to set would they make their way back to the campgrounds.

After that summer, Will never called again.  JD had waited patiently for months, but there was no word from the other boy.  He finally gave up hope the next summer when he saw Will and the lead in their summer play Rent kissing on their boulder.



At twenty he had allowed Stacey into his life.  They met during a Biology study session.  They discussed endosymbiosis and the ways of classifying protista.  Soon they talked about work, other classes and roommates.  Eventually they exchanged numbers and dorm rooms and made a date for coffee the following day--of course with the guise of studying for their big exam.

Two weeks later and they were falling into beds and kicking Turk out of the room to screw around under cotton sheets.  They’d kiss and touch and lick and fuck.  There was an unexplainable chemistry between the two of them.  They were never far apart after that.

It ended when Stacey got drunk at a frat party and screwed one of the brothers.  JD yelled and bit back insults and held back the desire to make her pay for the pain he felt inside.

He cried that night.  He cried into the weekend.  He paid damage charges for punching a hole into his wall. He nursed the stiches on his knuckles and drank a bottle of tequila while Turk watched in horror.


He fell for Elliot the second he saw her.  There was something about her neurotic tendencies that drew him in.  He loved her laugh and smile; JD would bite back a grin when she would snort at his horrible jokes.

Christmas came and she was his favorite gift.  They spent the hours not at the hospital in bed; they spent precious minutes at the hospital in bed.  They always made sure to lock the on-call room and held in their gasps and moans.

That ended too, as fast as it began.  The things he had loved--and he had allowed himself to love again--tore them apart.  He would always think about what if.


He didn’t mean to fall for Perry.  They had run into each other at the bar; Perry bought him a drink to shut him up.  The alcohol gave him courage to kiss the older man as he called a cab for the two of them.  JD’s hands reached across the seat and rubbed the growing bulge in the other doctor’s worn jeans. 

Perry told the driver to stop at a random apartment neither of them recognized; the deserted ally was all they cared about.  JD hit the wall and Perry’s lips crashed into his.  Teeth clashed and blood was drawn.  JD ignored the metallic taste and began to explore the older man’s mouth noting the taste of scotch still heavy on his tongue.   

And that’s how it started.

They spent more hours in bed than Elliot and him had ever managed.  At forty-five, Perry had the libido of a horny sixteen year old.  They would end up in closets, bathrooms and showers.  Perry would push in deep and hit the spot that made JD come in an instant.  Bite marks and bruises adorned shoulders and hips. 

They’d spot each other from across the hall, and instantly JD would become aroused.  Minutes later his pager would sound and they would start the process over again.

This time he meant it, the feeling wasn’t anything like he had experienced before.  And with their rough side, JD also experienced the other end of the spectrum. 

Perry would sneak over to JD’s apartment late at night with a bottle of wine.  They’d sit in front of the TV not paying much attention to the reality shows that seemed to always be on.  They were too focused on each other.  Perry would rub soft circles on top of those same bite marks and bruises.  He’d kiss the younger man’s neck gently and softly nibble on his earlobe. 

He felt alive with Perry.  He felt invincible.  He began to believe in that four letter word he had tossed aside after the mess of his relationship with Elliot.  Love.